My story of overcoming challenges and low self-esteem to do what I truly love.
Savio Arruda
January 14, 2025
For a long time, I felt trapped in a spiral of self-criticism and insecurity. My low self-esteem made me question whether I was good enough and if I was on the right path. While I watched my friends grow professionally and achieve significant milestones, I constantly compared myself and felt like I was falling behind. Even though I had opportunities of my own, it always seemed like I was starting over, and my choices—especially as an entrepreneur—often felt like they led to more setbacks.Low self-esteem, when left untreated, can lead to serious mental health challenges. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), an estimated 1 in 8 people worldwide live with a mental health disorder, amounting to 970 million individuals globally in 2019. These numbers highlight how deeply issues like low self-esteem and mental health can impact lives across the world.I experienced the effects of this cycle for many years. But it was also this pain that pushed me to seek change, understand my worth, and find fulfillment in doing what I truly love. If you’ve ever felt like you’re not living up to your ambitions, know that you’re not alone. This is the beginning of my story of setbacks and growth—and how I overcame low self-esteem by doing what I love.
Low self-esteem is when a person has a negative perception of themselves, feeling incapable or inadequate. It can affect how they see themselves, interact with others, and handle life’s challenges. Those with low self-esteem often feel insecure, doubt their abilities, and question their worth.
For example, I frequently thought: "I’m a failure. I’m almost 40 and haven’t accomplished anything in life." These kinds of thoughts made me overlook my achievements and focus solely on what I felt I hadn’t yet accomplished. I was extremely hard on myself, never believing that what I did was good enough.
Low self-esteem tends to create a cycle of self-criticism and constant comparison with others. This can lead to frustration and dissatisfaction, where the person feels they are never meeting expectations—whether their own or others.
In summary, low self-esteem is a distorted and negative self-view that can deeply impact mental health, relationships, and even professional performance.
Low self-esteem can manifest in various ways, often affecting behavior, thoughts, and emotions. These symptoms vary from person to person, but some common signs can help identify the problem:
- Excessive self-criticism: Thoughts like “I can’t do anything right” or “I’m not good enough” frequently occur, leading to a distorted view of one’s abilities.
- Difficulty accepting compliments: People with low self-esteem often minimize compliments or assume others are just being polite.
- Procrastination and fear of failure: Insecurity may lead to avoiding challenges or delaying important decisions out of fear of making mistakes.
- Constant comparison: Focusing on others’ successes while feeling perpetually inadequate.
- Overemphasis on failures: Magnifying mistakes and ignoring progress, often fixating on what went wrong.
- Difficulty setting boundaries: Low self-esteem can lead to over-pleasing others, even at the expense of one’s well-being.
- Social isolation: Fear of judgment or rejection can drive people away from friends, family, and social settings.
In my case, I constantly compared myself to friends who were thriving professionally while I felt stuck. I also struggled to accept compliments, assuming they were mere niceties, which reinforced my sense of inadequacy.
Low self-esteem can have serious consequences, impacting both mental health and daily life. Key effects include:
- Anxiety: Persistent feelings of inadequacy can lead to excessive worries and fear of judgment. This anxiety can escalate, affecting daily decisions and simple tasks.
- Depression: Low self-esteem can result in prolonged sadness, lack of motivation, and feelings of powerlessness, making it hard to find joy in previously valued activities.
- Social isolation: Fear of criticism or rejection may cause people to withdraw from friends, family, and colleagues, exacerbating feelings of loneliness.
- Self-sabotage and stagnation: Constant insecurity can lead to avoiding challenges or abandoning important projects, hindering personal and professional growth.
- Professional impact: A lack of confidence may limit opportunities, preventing people from taking risks or even underestimating their abilities in roles they already hold.
In my case, low self-esteem exacerbated my Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), a condition marked by constant and excessive worry. This intensified negative thoughts and trapped me in a cycle of self-criticism and insecurity, directly impacting my decisions and mental health.
My entrepreneurial journey began early, helping my mother run our family stationery shop. From selling candy at school to creating a student business association in college, my passion for entrepreneurship was always evident. Later, I developed solutions that achieved remarkable financial results and helped thousands of small business owners, including my mother. One of these businesses was sold, which provided me with some financial return. After that, I held a prominent position at a large company. However, none of this was enough to make me feel fulfilled.
Throughout my journey, I made decisions that forced me to start over multiple times. I left promising projects, had startups that didn’t work out, and faced setbacks that stalled my growth. With each failure, the feeling of being a failure crushed me. I often thought: “Why can others succeed, but not me?” When a promising opportunity came to co-found a new startup, I left the stability of my job to dive headfirst into the project. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned. At a crucial moment, the founder broke the partnership with me, and the investment that would have sustained the company was withdrawn.
That blow left me without income, with my self-esteem at rock bottom, and feeling worthless. My mental health was deeply affected, but I knew I couldn’t give up. I had a young child to care for, and I had to find the strength to keep going, even when everything seemed lost.
Facing such a difficult period with my mental health was a turning point. As I grappled with my low self-esteem and the impacts of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), I realized I needed to take care of myself to move forward.That’s when I started therapy, explored therapies used for low self-esteem, immersed myself in studying mental health, and deeply reflected on my journey. Gradually, I understood that I wasn’t alone: millions of people face similar challenges every day.
This realization drove me to do something greater. Understanding the scale of this problem and how difficult it is for many to access practical, affordable help inspired the creation of Serena, an AI therapist. Serena was designed to democratize access to mental health resources, offering immediate and effective support through tools like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - one of the most effective therapies used for low self-esteem and related issues.
Today, as I look back, I see that every step of my journey - from helping my mother in her stationery shop to creating Serena - was essential. Every challenge, failure, and victory prepared me to create something that could truly make a difference in people’s lives. Serena represents the culmination of everything I’ve learned and experienced, and I am determined to make it a positive force in the world, helping millions of people find the support they need to lead fuller, happier lives. By incorporating proven therapies used for low self-esteem, Serena strives to provide accessible solutions for those navigating their mental health journeys.
Creating Serena wasn’t just a way to help others - it also transformed my relationship with myself. In building the virtual therapist, I absorbed many of the practices and knowledge implemented on the platform, while incorporating lessons from therapy and educational content I studied along the way. Through this process, I realized that the problem wasn’t my ability but how I perceived myself.
Here are the most important lessons I learned - both in my personal journey and in developing a solution that also helped me overcome low self-esteem:
- Comparison is a trap: Everyone has their own timeline. Your achievements and worth are not determined by comparisons with others. Working on Serena helped me see that the impact I was creating was unique, and that was enough. I began focusing on my journey and what truly mattered to me.
- Failures are part of the process: I learned to see my setbacks as lessons. Each mistake brought me closer to what truly mattered, turning obstacles into opportunities for growth. Serena’s creation was only possible because of experiences I previously viewed as failures.
- Self-care is not selfish: Developing a solution focused on mental well-being made me realize how essential it is to care for myself. I took time to recognize my strengths and adopt practices that boosted my self-esteem. Small acts of self-care completely changed my perspective.
- Ask for help: Seeking support, whether professional or personal, is fundamental. Having people who believe in you - and tools like Serena that empower you - can be a powerful starting point for overcoming low self-esteem.
These practices not only helped me overcome low self-esteem but also equipped me to face future challenges with greater confidence and balance. Just as I found strength and clarity through this process, I believe anyone can transform their relationship with themselves by starting with small steps and recognizing their worth.
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